Like every life story I knew until yesterday, this too ends in bitterness and everyone will blame it on fate. Yes… It is so easy, so fast, not here, pull the cover over and fall asleep believing that ignorance will point you to peace or success.
He met an old man when he was about fifteen. The man died not long after our boy found himself a girl and fell in a terrible love. Why terrible? You’d ask. Because he couldn’t find a single dust of courage inside him to tell her anything about the strong feelings he had for her and his suffering in silence was pointless because she had her heart wide open for him, as he found out later in life. The friendship between the man and the boy was outstanding, they were two unique stargazers and pals in every conversation they had. They strengthened their friendship on nights with clear sky, in a place with pure whites and pure blacks and having the greatest stories by the telescope. The boy was just learning about the stars at the time but the old man had other intentions when he was staring at the blackness of the sky, he was searching for a place in the universe where to go after his life on this planet ended. The boy knew nothing about the man’s final plan, he was to busy learning about the sky, to observe the tired heart of his friend.
– I have met a girl, sir.
– Tell me.
While the man was observing the light forms trough the telescope, the boy described his girl and for every of his metaphor towards love, the man had a Greek tragedy to tell in the mirror.
– You see… my good young friend (the man tells him with a kind voice), you experience nothing new in the universe. This universe is build on tragedies like love, especially this one feeling.
– Why is love a tragedy? The boy asks.
It hurts! The answer came unnaturally fast and gave the boy an unsettling feeling in the throat. Love (the man continues to explain his idea) has more connections with pain than it has with happiness. Love has a short life, you fight for it after you loose it (useless fight, if you ask me), curse the world and this universe (pointing his eyes towards the sky), and you lower yourself to hell with a bottle of whisky in your hand because love is very destructive with the one who doesn’t have love for self. A few traits of our life are constantly trying to lower us into greed, apathy or God knows what else, to fight battles we don’t really believe in, thus, destroying our self respect in the process. It is nearly impossible to come back to self respect and self love later in life, after we were hooked on riches we don’t need, in a world where we have to give death a jucy kiss.
– How about sex? The boy is asking, thinking a bit frightful about the man’s response.
– I guess you could answer this one for yourself, doing the thing with a woman is more of a concept than a mechanical movement, as they would want you to believe.
– How come? The boy keeps at it, curiously as fuck (pun intended).
– Come here, take a look trough the telescope – there is Venus, she is hot, poisonous and speeds the other way around the sun, unlike all the other planets in our solar system. Venus is the planet representing desire, love, beauty, hell and all things worth dying over a second of pure pleasure. When you “dance” a woman, you might feel your brain deserting your skull and running inside the black hole through your rod. Your rod has its moments of pure power over another universe, the heart is melting with your partners’ and fighting has a whole other meaning when is explained by Eros.
– What about my brain, you say?
– Hahaha! Don’t worry! Your brain will come back eventually, actually, is your mind doing the travelling through feelings and explosive stars. It comes back with poisonous cravings, new fires of the heart, new plans, more desires, but most important, it wants to go back dancing until the ends. Love and Venus are more of a tragedy than a smooth ride to your day of end. (I have to be cryptic, be creative.) She likes the explosions happening all over inside her brain and she too, is hooked on that feeling. My young friend, love is like birth and sex is like breathing.
The young man was quiet for the rest of that night. He was watching the stars with his naked eyes and his mind was traveling emotionless passing by planets, moons, stars, supernovae, space dust, spaceships, clouds, cities, bars and stops at his girl, who was laughing with her girlfriends in the school’s back yard.
Days passed, nights too. The boy dug himself into an emotional hole and drowned there in his own fears. He gave up. The stars disappeared, his friend died alone… they threw him in a hole in the ground just as he was found – no coffin, no people to say goodbye, not even a drop of rain from mother nature to mention about this. The boy and the man were both in the same situation, but one of them was still breathing. One night, the boy found a desire and was able to climb out of his dark hole.
That night it was raining, flooding the cemetery and softening the dirt. The boy dug out his friend’s body and placed it on top ground… and laid beside him. All eyes are closed, the rain gave them a brake, one hour, just to talk, cleaning their bodies and feelings with waters from the sky. You see… Night was always listening to their conversations and granted them now another one because everything was happening in the name of love. And they did talk, having interesting conversations, as usual. It wasn’t anything important but both of them were happy to be in each other’s company again and never thought about the passing of time. Before the end, a silhouette paced towards them, deformed by rain droplets and a faint yellowish light from candle lights. It was her, the girl he loved. They all stand now on their feet and the rain has stopped. The man and the boy felt the end of their time together and said goodbye to each other, hugged and smiled, understanding for the first time the concept of infinite. The man took a few steps back, silence… disappearing evermore, consumed by an ethereal space. His beautiful smile stopped the time in the present, to test us if we really understood the infinite, probability.
The boy kissed her…
– It is time for you to go, the boy tells her.
She followed the old man and the candle lights disappeared from the whole cemetery at the same time. The boy was now alone… he turned back and left. Every step of his left impressions in the wet ground and rain collected them all behind him.
This is not a sad story, after all. Yes, people are dying in it, moving away or having regrets but is all for understanding, for deepening a soul’s consciousness and release all its fears. A lost opportunity is a found realization, actually. It depends on your point of view and your… misconceptions collected from this matrix. Nothing goes to waste, enjoy your wonderful life.
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FIN
Roberto Palu
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