How do I think with my heart?

I already have a noisy mind I sometimes wish I hadn’t but, instead of trying to shut it up as a good sensei would advise, I have this insane idea to build something from all that pushing around ideas in my mind. It is exhausting to have constants, variables and unfinished conclusions always chatting in my mind, hence the old idea to work on tranquilizing my mind with meditation or keep it busy with overwork. But thinking outside my brain-box, I came up with another approach to my problem. I could diagnose myself to take comfort in insanity, but that is an excuse and I already decided that excuses are brief battles for the ones who keep on pushing through a challenge. My preoccupied brain could not just waste all that energy only to overflow its conclusions and findings into nothingness, I know it must have a good reason and I know is not to make me clinically insane, would be crazy. Pun, of course. But, until I figure out why is so annoyingly active, I must patch it up somehow.

I’d say to let my thoughts have their enthusiastic chat, without me trying every second to cut their legs, even encourage all of them to split or fatten themselves at will. All I would have to do is open the communication channel between my brain and heart, mind and emotion to be more precise, I won’t pour cement in my brain to build a real connection to the heart but to imagine it as a bright light and feel conscious all my thoughts flowing down. Most of my mind chatter, I’d say 90%, I consider to be useless but not because is gibberish, is because of timing, I have my own challenges I am trying to solve all at once, this might be my fault and… meditation is making more sense to me now, but not so much. I will stick with my original idea, the esoteric connection to have an exoteric result. I cannot draw all my conclusions or build all my plans in one go but I could listen carefully to what I think, to be my own best and kind friend, and let my heart formulate a feeling from my thoughts alike.

My body and my soul need something and I am sure that I cannot answer to any in due time, this is why my needs are clogging my mind with too many thoughts. I will learn to feel what I can’t understand by letting my heart react to my thoughts, and I will learn and remember that particular Feeling to use it every time I am battling a given problem. What do you know? It worked. My mind converted the chatter into structure by sending pallets of similar thoughts to my heart for defining them into a single feeling. Feelings, I can understand in their true profoundness, I don’t need proofs and I have the correct reactions to them even though I cannot formulate a conclusion in my mind.

I am not looking for problems but, no matter how much I would force myself to meditate, I will not succeed because problems must be dealt with, not ignored. Over thinking could be a sign that I should take some action in the physical world and use the meditation mostly to dig up problems I forgot about or hidden for whatever reason. Now I can find inner peace practicing meditation.

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FIN

Roberto Palu